Sunday, July 15, 2012

Is Love Worth It?

Letting yourself love is dangerous.
No matter what kind of love it is, the moment you let your heart be touched you are making yourself vulnerable to hurt.
To be open, to let yourself care for someone, is so so dangerous.
Because what will inevitably happen?
That person -- whom you loved -- will not always be there.
Some day, they won't be there with you, for you, anymore.
They may turn their back on you, betray the trust you placed in them when you decided to love them.
They may turn their back on you, because you did something -- something you will always regret -- and they can't trust you anymore.
They may just drift away, because you don't fit in their life anymore.
Or, they may just leave this earth, and there's nothing you can do to change the fact that you're left behind when they've gone.
Love is dangerous, because someday the one you've let yourself love will be gone.

But love is amazing, too.
It's such a beautiful thing, is love.
It makes you overlook wrongs.
It makes you care about someone besides yourself.
It makes you want what's best for someone even at cost to yourself.
It makes you realize that there's more to life than just you.
It makes you see the world differently. 
It makes you see yourself differently. 
It makes you be more than you could ever be by yourself because when you love someone, it's not all about you anymore. 
And that realization, that change in mindset, makes all the difference in the world.
It makes you whole because by yourself, you are wanting. 
Love is necessary, because it changes you.
And you need to be changed.
Letting yourself love is revolutionary.

But now, how to reconcile this? Love is both dangerous and necessary, both painful and beautiful. 
What then do you do? 
How to love wisely, that you are not hurt, and yet love fearlessly, that love will change your life?
I don't know the answer. 
I understand very little about how life works, and I'm not even near to comprehending the issue of love.
Love is frightening, I know that much.
Love is also the most wonderful thing to receive and to give, and I know this too.
And I know that Someone loves me so much He gave His All for me, though He knew I would hurt Him.
So maybe, this issue of love is a case in which you weigh the pros and cons. 
Maybe then, you decide that diving headlong is worth the risk of crashing and breaking. 
Maybe, the beauty of love is, in the end, worth the pain that comes with it.

Because just like love makes you grow, so does pain. 
Pain is not something to fear, but something to embrace.
Pain, like love, changes you.
If you let it change you for good, then yes...I think its worth it.
Just like loving is worth it.

Someone I know is near death.
I don't know him well, nor have I seen him often.
But he touched my heart.
I loved him, and I didn't realize it 'til now.
Because now, he's going to leave.
I'm probably not going to see him again this side of heaven.
And the thought of seeing him there is a beautiful picture to anticipate.
But because I love him, it hurts.
But I know that because I love him, I'm a different person.
He hardly knows me, doesn't remember me when he sees me, because he doesn't remember much at all.
So he doesn't love me...
But I love him.
And love makes all the difference.

"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead." ~ Oscar Wilde

1 John 3:11 ~ For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. 

1 comment:

  1. This is beautiful Michelle. Keep loving. And keep writing. =)