There are ways in which we grow that no one
else ever knows.
We fight the dragons of our selfish nature
and we emerge from the fire victorious, but we don’t get banquets thrown in our
honor.
We don’t go down in history.
The battles that matter most are silent, at
least to most of our world.
But our victories over pride and bitterness
and self-absorption, small though they may be in the grand scheme of things,
are still victories.
Their value is not lessened by their lack
of pomp and circumstance.
And our victories, if we know Christ, are
not even our own doing.
The strength to fight against pride comes
from Him.
The strength to have the humility to even
recognize that pride must be fought comes from Him.
I can’t even see my own weakness without
His hand opening my eyes.
There are ways in which we grow that no one
else ever knows.
Save One.
He knows what it took to destroy that piece
of pride that made us hurt the people we love.
He knows what it takes to combat the guilt
we still sometimes fall prey to over the damage we once did, despite the
forgiveness we’ve received.
He knows that those decisions that look
easy to our world are the biggest steps of faith we've ever taken.
He sees the small victories.
He enables the small victories.
He knows how we’ve grown, and He knows how
important that growth is to us even when no one else sees anything
extraordinary.
But every victory is extraordinary because
it means you fought.
You fought the complacency and the
comfortable misery and the apathy and the anger and the self-pity and you beat
it.
And you beat it with His strength.
You’re stronger now because your identity
is composed of less of your broken self and more of the wholeness He supplies.
There’s a song that repeats, “I’m not who I
was.”
And I’m grateful that though that phrase
can be considered cliché, it’s true of me.
I’m grateful that I lack the ability to win
any battle on my own.
I’m grateful that He helps me when I’m fighting
those dragons.
I’m grateful that victory is in Jesus and
through Jesus and by Jesus and for Jesus.
I’m grateful that He sees it when I grow.
There are ways in which we grow that no one
else ever knows.
But knowing that who we were is not all we
are,
and that who we are is not all we will be,
can be enough.
This past week, 3rd week, was
eventful mainly in how it pointed me to the Lord.
I had homework and spent time with friends
and it was a good week. A normal week.
But the weekend gave me a fresh
perspective.
I was reminded not to limit God by my
fears.
I was reminded that there’s more to life
than what goes on or seems possible in my own little world.
I was reminded, even today, that adventures
and experiences and people and places can all change my life, but none of them
have any ability to fulfill me.
I can’t just hope to find my purpose by
changing location, or changing occupation, or even changing myself.
Because my purpose never changes.
It is to “glorify God and enjoy Him
forever.”
It is to seek His will.
It is to love Him and love others because
He loves me incomprehensibly.
It is to share the way He changes my life
day in and day out.
So this post doesn’t talk so much about
what life in Oxford was like from October 27th to November 2nd.
But you see, that’s because my life doesn’t
revolve around Oxford.
Or Cedarville.
Or Roanoke.
Or my family.
Or my friends.
Or myself.
And this week, I was reminded of that.
I love Oxford, and at times I’m pre-emptively
heartsick over leaving.
I love the people who have made my time
here such a wonderful experience.
But the purpose of these posts is to share
what I’m learning,
and this week I learned that not seeing
what my future holds,
not being applauded over the small
victories,
and not knowing all the answers I wish I
did,
aren’t failures.
They are ways in which God reveals Himself.
They are ways through which He helps me
grow.
