10 Things I Love in January

10 Things I Love

Harry Potter evenings
Spontaneous days out
Date nights
Slow dances at weddings
Church friends
New bookshelves
Puzzle videos
Long-distance friendships
Twinkle lights
Mike Mains on repeat

1.31.2020

10 Things I Love in December

10 Things I Love

Our first Christmas ornaments
Making buckeyes with my mom
Hosting for the first time
Leaving work for break
Kisses and champagne at midnight
Driving buddy while he was off school
Christmas music on repeat
Sister and brother-in-law's baby announcement
Christmas Eve gift of financial aid
Andrew

12.31.19

Make Room

Make room for grace

Deep breaths, he says, as he holds my shoulders
Let it go, she says, because she's never held this fear
It'll be okay, he says, and I want to have his certainty
It doesn't have to be perfect, they say, voices of a world that hides its flaws

Perfectionism is the enemy of peace
And it disguises itself as virtues so that it can conquer more of my heart

It doesn't show up at the gate with swords drawn and a challenge, ready for a glorious fight
Perfectionism sneaks, it cajoles, it convinces
A trickster, it presents itself as ambition, dedication, required excellence

Perfectionism overpowers my loves and fears and hopes until there's no room for anything else

No room for grace

So I must make a substitution, an atonement, a desperate but worthy trade
And sacrifice the expectations of perfection on the altar of freedom

To make room for grace

Deep breaths, he says, and peace conquers fear
Let it go, she says, and my eyes release their tears
It'll be okay, he says, and I recall promises fulfilled
It doesn't need to be perfect, God says, My grace is sufficient for it all

Eyes up
Hands open
Spirit at rest
Making room
For grace

3.27.2020

10 Things I Love in November

10 Things I Love

White lights twinkling in the living room
When he says, "let's get pizza"
Waking up to fresh coffee
Clean sheets
Rose pink
Baby giggles
Notes in a new planner
Apple cider
Mini pumpkins
Long-distance friendships

11.25.19

10 Things I Love in October

10 Things I Love

Long-sleeves
My violet plant
NCIS
Long, hot showers
Tea before bed
Watching the sunrise from my couch
Tortilla chips
The crackle of a fire
Autumn breeze
Leaves crunching underfoot

10.16.19

10 Things I Love in September

10 Things I Love

1. Driving with the windows down
2. Yellow flowers
3. Evening walks
4. TV with my husband
5. Good pastries
6. Reading with no bedtime
7. Playing piano in an empty house
8. Staying home all day
9. Hazelnut coffee
10. Baking

9.11.19

Growing Up

There are ways in which we grow that no one else ever knows.

We fight the dragons of our selfish nature and we emerge from the fire victorious, but we don’t get banquets thrown in our honor.

We don’t go down in history.

The battles that matter most are silent, at least to most of our world.

But our victories over pride and bitterness and self-absorption, small though they may be in the grand scheme of things, are still victories.

Their value is not lessened by their lack of pomp and circumstance.

And our victories, if we know Christ, are not even our own doing.

The strength to fight against pride comes from Him.

The strength to have the humility to even recognize that pride must be fought comes from Him.

I can’t even see my own weakness without His hand opening my eyes.

There are ways in which we grow that no one else ever knows.

Save One.

He knows what it took to destroy that piece of pride that made us hurt the people we love.

He knows what it takes to combat the guilt we still sometimes fall prey to over the damage we once did, despite the forgiveness we’ve received.

He knows that those decisions that look easy to our world are the biggest steps of faith we've ever taken.

He sees the small victories.

He enables the small victories.

He knows how we’ve grown, and He knows how important that growth is to us even when no one else sees anything extraordinary.

But every victory is extraordinary because it means you fought.

You fought the complacency and the comfortable misery and the apathy and the anger and the self-pity and you beat it.

And you beat it with His strength.

You’re stronger now because your identity is composed of less of your broken self and more of the wholeness He supplies.

There’s a song that repeats, “I’m not who I was.”

And I’m grateful that though that phrase can be considered cliché, it’s true of me.

I’m grateful that I lack the ability to win any battle on my own.

I’m grateful that He helps me when I’m fighting those dragons.

I’m grateful that victory is in Jesus and through Jesus and by Jesus and for Jesus.

I’m grateful that He sees it when I grow.

There are ways in which we grow that no one else ever knows.

But knowing that who we were is not all we are,

and that who we are is not all we will be,

can be enough.

This past week, 3^rd week, was eventful mainly in how it pointed me to the Lord.

I had homework and spent time with friends and it was a good week. A normal week.

But the weekend gave me a fresh perspective.

I was reminded not to limit God by my fears.

I was reminded that there’s more to life than what goes on or seems possible in my own little world.

I was reminded, even today, that adventures and experiences and people and places can all change my life, but none of them have any ability to fulfill me.

I can’t just hope to find my purpose by changing location, or changing occupation, or even changing myself.

Because my purpose never changes.

It is to “glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”

It is to seek His will.

It is to love Him and love others because He loves me incomprehensibly. 

It is to share the way He changes my life day in and day out.

So this post doesn’t talk so much about what life in Oxford was like from October 27^th to November 2^nd. 

But you see, that’s because my life doesn’t revolve around Oxford.

Or Cedarville.

Or Roanoke.

Or my family.

Or my friends.

Or myself.

And this week, I was reminded of that.

I love Oxford, and at times I’m pre-emptively heartsick over leaving.

I love the people who have made my time here such a wonderful experience.

But the purpose of these posts is to share what I’m learning,

and this week I learned that not seeing what my future holds,

not being applauded over the small victories,

and not knowing all the answers I wish I did,

aren’t failures.

They are ways in which God reveals Himself.

They are ways through which He helps me grow.